Today was LR’s next court date. We arrived to court about 30 minutes early. You never know how long traffic will take so we left a little early. Walking into the court house we go through a metal protector and make our way down to the court room. It is a long hallway and there are other court rooms on the way. Lots of people and families trying to make their own ways through the system. Finally we make it to outside our court room and find two seats together.
We sat and waited, people watching. I wondered to myself the many stories that brought them here. About twenty minutes of waiting we finally see a fimiliar face, the bio mom’s attorney. She stops and asks us if we have seen the bio mom, we had not. She merges back into the crowd looking for her client. A few minutes later we see the GAL. Before making her way over to us, the GAL stops and talks with the the mom’s attorney.
In the hand of the bio mom’s attorney was a piece of paper; the two attorney talked about its contents for a few minutes. Finally the bio mom’s attorney gets up and leaves. We get a chance to talk with the GAL and she says that the document was a concent letter to severe bio mom’s rights. Cheryl and I have a moment of a sigh of relief.
We go back to waiting 10:30 ( the court time comes and goes). Time creeps to 10:50 and the court room sign clicks off. A feel a lump in my throat as the court room attendant comes out and calls for a different case. Repeat 11:25 same lump same results, another case and again at 11:40 and again at 11:55. By this point the crowd has wind led down to just the people in our case.
Finally 2:15 and we are called in. The proceedings are fairly technical, but by the end the judge made the ruling that the bio mom’s rights would be severed. Now, we are onto adoptions. We have all ready contacted our lawyer. We will have to wait to be assigned a new DCS worker for adoption. From what we have heard, the process and timing takes about 3 months. However, as we have learned over the years, time may take longer. We will keep you posted. Thanks for reading
Today is the anniversary of Cheryl and I accepting into our home two foster kiddos for our very first “parenting” experience. Lots has changed in that time and I know that our lives are forever changed because of it. We hope that the kiddos who have come to live with us for whatever length have had their lives enhanced from the time that they were with us. Other parents would call this a “birthday”. There was no birth. I guess to the ones we have cared for and to my loving wife, I wish you all blessed foster day.
Today we went to court for LR. Before the hearing in the court room. We had a mediation between the state, biomom and ourselves. LR’s mom says she wants to give up her parental rights and requests photos and possible future contact. Which was conveyed in the court room. Additionally, because the biomom’s attorney had not given her a few documents, the servence hearing was continued. That means we have a new court date of January 19 @ 10:30.
After the hearing the judge asked us for more photos. At that time he told us that when the adoption hearing happens we could request for him to be the judge.
Still lots of things to come and not as much as we thought was going to happen. Slow like the turtle, not quick like the rabbit.
“It’s different when they are your’s”.
Two years and a few months ago, Cheryl and I had the fortunate encounter of listening to friends talk about their own experience as foster and later adoptive parents. Long time readers might remember me writing about them. They showed us the path to fostering and took our baby puzzle blog in a whole new direction. They explained to Cheryl when she asked, “when did you feel like they were yours?” “Oh honey, they were never mine, they were gifts from God, we just got a chance to take care of them for a little while.”
On our Balck Friday we head to the stores in search of new possessions. New things that we can own. New things we can manipulate and change. New things that are ours. They can be held as a shiny new object. They can be thrown away without a second look. On this glorious discounted day we search for the deal of a life time. We search for things we can possess, things we can own.
Humans cannot be owned. “It’s different when they are your’s”. I was raised by an adopted mom. My dad was raised by adopted dad. The children who are placements in our home cannot be thrown away without a second look, therefore they are not our possession, but gifts from God.
Today, yes even on Black Friday, I am happy for things that I still long for. Many of my things are not able to be bought at a store. Today I am happy to know that God has given me many gifts. Today, I am happy to be reminded that family and friends alike, have given goods examples of the gifts I have been afforded. While others still believe “It’s different when they are your’s”, I know the things that truly matter in life are not those things that I own, they are not things I can throw away or dismiss, they are something much different then any Black Friday sale can provide
Today, remember what you were thankful for yesterday. Happy Black Friday!
As we prepare for the holiday coming this Thursday, it leads me to be introspective about the things we have experienced and are thankful for. 2015 has been another unique year. I am thankful for many things and I am sure that if I sat listing them all it may sound like everything in my life. Here are three things for our “Turkey Tuesday”.
Since last Thanksgiving, Cheryl and I have said goodbye to two of our three placements, hello to two new kiddos and grown closer to our three current placements. I am very thankful for the many gifts that each child gives us. They all have their own personalities, but in their own unique way they show us what it means to love and be loved. They grow and discover the world around them and as they do they remind me of the simple things in our lives that are just as important as the more complicated ones. Seeing the world through a child’s eye has a certain level of innocence and can un-complicate a complicated decision without even trying. I am very thankful for our three little ones with us and the two littles back home with their families.
My second Turkey Tuesday Thanks is from back in April. I spent 16 days in the hospital and another two weeks on “couch rest”. During that time a lot of the slack I left behind had to be picked up. Some of the slack was by family, some by co-workers and a whole lot by my loving wife. Cheryl was a rock who went to work, came home and took care of our kiddos and found time to take care of her emotionally fragile husband. I am thankful for the family and friends who lent her a hand in taking care of the kiddos, of the house, the dogs, and her. Cheryl went to bat for me, making sure the doctors were on track, she slept on hard chairs and she held me up. This Thanksgiving, I am thankful for all of the slack pickers in my time of need.
The third Turkey Tuesday Thanks is for the many coming changes that Cheryl and I anticipate in the coming year. We feel like we will have a more clear understanding what our “baby puzzle” picture will look like. We have been working feverishly to set ourselves up for our “domestic dad” plan and we will have a more active role in forming the people our littles are becoming. Every year there is change and I know that nothing is ever static. Having a chance to live out our goals and our plans makes me thankful.
So, from the Covert’s house and my own blogging desk, I want to wish you a very happy and healthy Thanksgiving. And that you may remember to remember the many blessings in your life. Happy Thanksgiving.
In 27 days we go to court to help decide a more permanent setting for this little one.
One year ago today LR came to live with us.
We did not know her, we did not know where she had been and who she had seen. We did not know her personality. Her had not experienced her laugh. We had not experienced her active tendencies. She came to our home and changed our year and our lives.
Today we still live in limbo. Today she has a grasp of our heart. Today Cheryl and I wish her a very happy one year fostering anniversary. We are very excited to see what the next year holds.
On facebook today I saw a post of a baby climbing on the top of a fence. The caption read something like, “this is what happens to the baby when I am watching them and also trying to make dinner”. (I may have mis-quoted that, but it is the gist of the message). Many week day evenings I find myself trying to balance the time with the kiddos with the ever pressing need to feed, bathe, change and all of the other little things that goes along with caring for two one-year-olds and a three year old.
Most days after work looks something like this… leave work right at 3:30 with a slew of stares from fellow co-workers wondering why I leave right at quttin’ time. I can’t stay any later, the three young minds deserve contact time with their parenting unit. Not an excuse, just my priority.
Onto the road down the 303 around to the 10 and into the front doors of daycare by about 3:55. I go to pick up B-Rad (the oldest). The “teacher” unloads a few facts about B-Rad’s day and will give me one, or two or three items to take home. Love the keep sakes, but also get dirty clothes and a sheet about his day. On a good day I can get B-Rad to carry his few items, on other days he is not in the mood. Onto the two girl’s room. We enter after the slow paced walk of B-Rad (no he does not normally walk slow, but for some reason down that hallway he moves like a snail). LR will almost always run to me and ask to be picked up. Our other girl walks holding B-Rad’s hand. As we start to go their teacher will hand me two or four or six things of the girl’s to carry and unload a few facts about their day. On the good days B-Rad will help carry and LR loves to hold her paper. On other days I may have up to four plastic bags of things and papers in my hand. Any way you dice it up we all walk to the van.
Getting three littles in a car is a balancing act. B-Rad is usually good about standing and waiting while I place one of the girls into their seat. The other girl is the trick in all of this. Most of the time we come out to “LR’s side” and I place our other girl on the floor of the van while I buckle in LR. If it happens to be the other side I place LR on the floor of the van and buckle in sister. LR is not one to patiently wait and by the time all of the buckles have been buckled LR has taken out DVDs or moved the garage door opener or the remote or tried to drive the van. Once both girls have been buckled into their seats I will turn my attention to B-Rad. Almost always he will have gotten himself into his seat. On really good days he will have also started buckling himself in, however more times than not, this process has not yet begun. B-Rad throws a large fir each time he needs to be buckled in. Life returns to a bit of normalcy once we have started the car (and more importantly the DVD).
We drive home back onto the 10, off on Sarivel and up Cotton to our home. The process of getting out of the car seems much less cumbersome to me… probably because it is happening inside our garage and not in a parking lot where there are lots of other dangers. Once inside, the baby gates to the kiddos room and into the kitchen go up so I can feed the dogs. At this point LR has a mini meltdown on most days. I have tried to let the kiddos into the dog feeding area, but it is shared with too many breakable/pull over on top of one’s self/hot/dog doors in the area. A little meltdown is better than the alternative.
We are usually in our front room by about 4:15-4:25. We spend the next hour or so playing, reading, dancing, or what ever comes our way. Around 5:40 I start dinner. I have tried this process lots of different ways, but my favorite and least dramatic is getting all of the kiddos into their high chairs. Giving the kiddos all drinks. While they start on that I start the oven or the stove top or both. Once I have that going I bring around fruit to the kiddos (usually bananas). I go with the back and forth or a little prep and a little interaction so that dinner can be ready for Cheryl when she get home around 6:10.
Once dinner has been eaten Cheryl and I tag team on bath time. All of the kiddos in the bath, we scrub from end to end. LR likes to stand in the bath tub which usually results LR slipping into the bath tub. When she is sitting she often times tries to drink from the bath water. B-Rad has an affinity for getting soap in his eyes. No matter how we wash him or poor the water to rinse it always seems to happen. Those fifteen or so minutes comes through the spare bathroom like a hurricane. Water all over the floor, but we get clean kiddos.
Changed for bed and it is out to the front room. Cheryl has commented to me that it is really hard because on many evenings she sees them for less than an hour. Those minutes after all of the daycare, the driving, the fussing, the eating, the bathing and the changing are the minutes we get to really show the kiddos how much we care for them.
It is in the little things. The balancing act seems like if you tried to stop and just listen it would fly right passed us. The other evening, before Cheryl had gotten home and before I had started dinner we had one very precious moment. Cheryl had called and LR was in my lap. I answered and after a minute I held the phone up to LR’s ear. Cheryl must have said something and in the clearest of voices LR said, “hi.” It is those moments that we treasure so much. The other things are just things that we get through during the day, but those little moments can last a life time.
Cheryl and I plan to make a few changes in the coming months so we can remove the “hour in the morning and hour in the evening” life and keep the little moments. We are looking at rearranging the other things in our life so I can stay home to raise the kiddos until it is time for them to start kinder. Lots of sacrifice. Our baby puzzle has seen lots of changes to it from when we start this blog. We are excited to continue down this journey.
Today we had LR’s brother and dad over for pool time and BBQ. Keeping the kiddo’s family unit in place is important to both Cheryl and I and brother’s dad. They are forever brother and sister. Having the chance to keep them in each other’s lives will hopefully give them identity as they grow. It is interesting because this was not a visioned family unit before we started fostering, but now seems to be the most natural idea we can think of. Happy Saturday everyone.
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