Tag Archives: daycare

Learning Language in Toddler Time

Language development is one of the most intriguing things I can think of.  I remember as a young child sitting in history class, maybe in sixth or seventh grade listening to my teacher teach on some ancient civilization.  I remember it because of the un-thought out question that I had.  The statement was made that the civilization did not have a written language.  Before the teacher could explain further my hand sprung up and I was called on to ask “if they did not write things down, how did they communicate?”  Yes I very un-thought out question.  Being able to communicate is the the same thing as being able to write.

Read more here: http://www.oaksacorns.com/baby-puzzle/learning-language-in-toddler-time

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It is in the Little Things

On facebook today I saw a post of a baby climbing on the top of a fence.  The caption read something like, “this is what happens to the baby when I am watching them and also trying to make dinner”. (I may have mis-quoted that, but it is the gist of the message).  Many week day evenings I find myself trying to balance the time with the kiddos with the ever pressing need to feed, bathe, change and all of the other little things that goes along with caring for two one-year-olds and a three year old.

Most days after work looks something like this… leave work right at 3:30 with a slew of stares from fellow co-workers wondering why I leave right at quttin’ time.  I can’t stay any later, the three young minds deserve contact time with their parenting unit.  Not an excuse, just my priority.

Onto the road down the 303 around to the 10 and into the front doors of daycare by about 3:55.  I go to pick up B-Rad (the oldest).  The “teacher” unloads a few facts about B-Rad’s day and will give me one, or two or three items to take home.  Love the keep sakes, but also get dirty clothes and a sheet about his day.  On a good day I can get B-Rad to carry his few items, on other days he is not in the mood.  Onto the two girl’s room.  We enter after the slow paced walk of B-Rad (no he does not normally walk slow, but for some reason down that hallway he moves like a snail).  LR will almost always run to me and ask to be picked up.  Our other girl walks holding B-Rad’s hand.  As we start to go their teacher will hand me two or four or six things of the girl’s to carry and unload a few facts about their day.  On the good days B-Rad will help carry and LR loves to hold her paper.  On other days I may have up to four plastic bags of things and papers in my hand.  Any way you dice it up we all walk to the van.

Getting three littles in a car is a balancing act.  B-Rad is usually good about standing and waiting while I place one of the girls into their seat.  The other girl is the trick in all of this.  Most of the time we come out to “LR’s side” and I place our other girl on the floor of the van while I buckle in LR.  If it happens to be the other side I place LR on the floor of the van and buckle in sister.  LR is not one to patiently wait and by the time all of the buckles have been buckled LR has taken out DVDs or moved the garage door opener or the remote or tried to drive the van.  Once both girls have been buckled into their seats I will turn my attention to B-Rad.  Almost always he will have gotten himself into his seat.  On really good days he will have also started buckling himself in, however more times than not, this process has not yet begun.  B-Rad throws a large fir each time he needs to be buckled in.  Life returns to a bit of normalcy once we have started the car (and more importantly the DVD).

We drive home back onto the 10, off on Sarivel and up Cotton to our home.  The process of getting out of the car seems much less cumbersome to me… probably because it is happening inside our garage and not in a parking lot where there are lots of other dangers.  Once inside, the baby gates to the kiddos room and into the kitchen go up so I can feed the dogs.  At this point LR has a mini meltdown on most days.  I have tried to let the kiddos into the dog feeding area, but it is shared with too many breakable/pull over on top of one’s self/hot/dog doors in the area.  A little meltdown is better than the alternative.

We are usually in our front room by about 4:15-4:25.  We spend the next hour or so playing, reading, dancing, or what ever comes our way.  Around 5:40 I start dinner.  I have tried this process lots of different ways, but my favorite and least dramatic is getting all of the kiddos into their high chairs.  Giving the kiddos all drinks.  While they start on that I start the oven or the stove top or both.  Once I have that going I bring around fruit to the kiddos (usually bananas).  I go with the back and forth or a little prep and a little interaction so that dinner can be ready for Cheryl when she get home around 6:10.

Once dinner has been eaten Cheryl and I tag team on bath time.  All of the kiddos in the bath, we scrub from end to end.  LR likes to stand in the bath tub which usually results LR slipping into the bath tub.  When she is sitting she often times tries to drink from the bath water.  B-Rad has an affinity for getting soap in his eyes.  No matter how we wash him or poor the water to rinse it always seems to happen.  Those fifteen or so minutes comes through the spare bathroom like a hurricane.  Water all over the floor, but we get clean kiddos.

Changed for bed and it is out to the front room.  Cheryl has commented to me that it is really hard because on many evenings she sees them for less than an hour.  Those minutes after all of the daycare, the driving, the fussing, the eating, the bathing and the changing are the minutes we get to really show the kiddos how much we care for them.

It is in the little things.  The balancing act seems like if you tried to stop and just listen it would fly right passed us.  The other evening, before Cheryl had gotten home and before I had started dinner we had one very precious moment.  Cheryl had called and LR was in my lap.  I answered and after a minute I held the phone up to LR’s ear.  Cheryl must have said something and in the clearest of voices LR said, “hi.”  It is those moments that we treasure so much.  The other things are just things that we get through during the day, but those little moments can last a life time.

Cheryl and I plan to make a few changes in the coming months so we can remove the “hour in the morning and hour in the evening” life and keep the little moments.  We are looking at rearranging the other things in our life so I can stay home to raise the kiddos until it is time for them to start kinder.  Lots of sacrifice.  Our baby puzzle has seen lots of changes to it from when we start this blog.  We are excited to continue down this journey.

What Would You Do?

About two weeks ago our new placement kiddos were assigned a new case aid and parent aid.  These workers are responsible for dropping off and picking up the placement and for monitoring parent/child interaction.  They also work with the parent(s) on a slew of skills needed for parenting.  They play an important role in successful re-unification.

We have had a few interactions (phone calls and texts) with the case aid.  She is a bit short however we are understanding.  The situation (and reason for the post’s title) lies in interactions with our daycare workers.  On Monday it was reported to them that every time the kiddo’s are picked up the younger smells.  Yesterday the case aid came during a meal time.  The daycare worker tried to give the case aid a piece of toast (not jellied toast, just bread that had been toasted).  The kiddo started to freak out because when the worker refused.  She finally let him take back his food and made a comment to our daycare worker that she was just going to get him into the car and take the food away.  Then this morning when dropping our two infants off we were told by our the infant worker (a third worker reporting) that the case aid is very rude to her.

We love our daycare and also believe that the kiddo’s deserve a chance to be with their parents.  Cheryl and I do not want our daycare to become disillusioned of us because of poor treatment of others.  We also do not want a case aid who is short with us for reporting poor, unprofessional behavior.  I personally am leaning towards ignoring the reported problems until the lack of professional behavior is directed at me or Cheryl.  The problem that I have with that plan is the poor treatment of hard workers.  Also, my fear that the poor treatment is also present to the kiddos when we are not around.

What would you do?

Update Following Court

Very quick update.

Today we had a court date scheduled for LR.  This was a pre-trial conference and we were told by the DCS worker and the GAL that there would be requesting a change in the case plan.  Instead of the proposed agenda we found a new judge.  The judge continued all of the agenda items because they are retiring soon and since there would be a new judge for the remaining parts of the case they pushed all of the items to August.    So in a short statement, the update that I alluded to before actually did not occur.

On another note “LR” stands for “little roo” like “kangaroo”.  Thanks for reading and the large amounts of continued support we receive.

Decoding and an Update

I am going to start using “nicknames” for our kiddos so I do not have to refer to them as “the kiddo from October” or the “oldest kiddo” or the “youngest kiddo”.  It is a concept that another blogger her at wordpress uses and is easy enough to follow.  So

“oldest kiddo brother” = “OKB

“younest kiddo sister” = “YKS

“kiddo from October” = “LR” (my own nickname for her)

Tonight our worker for LR will be visiting.  Cheryl and I always get nerves when someone from DCS comes to our home and not for any other reason other than the unknown.  We have heard lots of whispers about a case plan being changed.  We may hear more about this tonight.  As I said in my last post, LR’s court date is coming up this Friday.

Monday OKB and YKS had their first visit.  Some times in the past we have noticed other placements would struggle after the visit, but the kiddos seemed to do well.  Their case worker dropped off lots of things that belong to OKB and YKS.  It is hard to see the state by which they are delivered.  Maybe it is just one of my sticking points or that we have had other placements go home, but no one’s belongings should travel in a trash bag.  We were fortunate to find an organization in the valley that provides new bags (along with a bunch of other things) for kiddos in the system.  I think one of the largest problems people have is just not knowing about the many services that the community will step up with.

Well that is it for now.  Lots of things coming in the near future.  Thanks for reading.

Mid-July Updates

Earlier this month we updated that one of our foster kiddos was going home with a great aunt.  We have since heard from his family, letting us know he is doing well.  The family he has gone to live with will care for him and knowing that he has a simi-permanent home is satisfying even though it is still a bit heart breaking, not getting to see him grow and develop.

On to our own home, on the tenth of July we welcomed into our home a brother-sister set of foster kiddos.  The brother is two months shy of three and the sister will turn one on Saturday.  Transition and adjustment takes time.  We (Cheryl and I) are used to other kiddos.  I fun thing is getting to know new little ones.  Even in the face of struggle we get a few giggles and smiles.  The brother-sister duo has a court date two Fridays from now so possibly there will be an update coming.

The sole remaining kiddo from October is also still with us.  Yes that means we have an 11month old, 14 month old and an almost three year old.  The veteran kiddo is doing well.  We have seen her first steps, although she is not anywhere near a full time walker.  She says lots of baby talk and what I swear is “hi”.  At the end of meal time she signs “all done”.  She loves to climb things and is a big time dare devil.  She also has a court date this coming Friday so there will most likely be updates coming from that as well.

There is never a dull moment in our home.  I will try to do a better job of posting on a regular basis.  Thanks for taking your time to read and support us.

A Quick Update

This just a quick update…

Today our oldest foster kiddo started unsupervised visits.  This is an exciting time for him because it is a sign that re-unification is closing in.  We are very happy to see the case advance in this direction.

Much like the rest of our experiences this transition is looks and feels different than our first go around.  Instead of the parent aid transporting, our foster kiddo’s dad is picking up and dropping off at day care.  Not sure too much how I feel about other than, it is different than before.

Thanks for reading our quick update.

Change Without Annoucement

In a moment things seem to change without announcement.

As I wrote in an earlier post, our normal respite family who takes our kiddos when we need child care took on other responsibilities and is no longer available to us.  Last weekend we had a chance to meet a new respite family.  They can only take the baby (so we will need another family for the boys).  They live in Mesa, which is on the other side of the valley from us.  We drove to their home last Sunday and met with them.  They are a nice couple, married around the same time as us, hospitable.  They told us many of their experiences within the system.  Getting to hear their accounts and stories of the goods and bads of fostering (they have actually adopted one child) was an interesting re-affirmation that at the very least Cheryl and I are not taking crazy pills and living in some other reality.  In addition to getting to hear their own story we also had a chance to see where the baby will sleep and eat and all of the other things.  Sometimes sudden change can lead to an unexpected surprise.  We will have to a chance to meet the other respite family this coming weekend.

Just the other morning I woke up to the fussy sounds of the baby wanting her morning change and meal.  Most mornings she is up before the boys and this morning was no different.  I went into her room and she was still half sleeping.  Because she was still half asleep I left her in her crib while I picked out her outfit for the day.  Daycare always asks us to send her in “footsies” because of her protest to keeping on shoes and socks.  That morning I chose a “onesie” and pants.  I remember looking through the selection and the many messages on the front “Daddy’s Favorite”, “Mommy Loves me”, “Mommy’s Favorite” and so on and so forth, so many of the baby clothes that the many stores out there carry have person specific messages.  On this this particular morning it had a picture of a whale a something about how Daddy loved her.  So many things have changed in the kiddos lives since they have come to live with us.  Keeping them focused on hitting their developmental stages is important to us.  After court this last week we have to keep that in mind the most.  It is not a competition to make the cute clothes ring true but about helping her learn to walk and getting the boys to learn to use the potty.

In the meantime… we will look forward to the changes that happen suddenly and sometimes without announcement.  Thanks for reading.

A Valentine Mix-Up

Cheryl and I are involved in a number of things in our community both professionally and within the community at large.  Much of the time we are able to be a part of these groups within the context of our day, while the kiddos are at day care or while one of us is able to be at home with them as the other is not.  When the community group involves both Cheryl and I we have two options 1)’ making sure it is family friendly and we all go 2) finding care takers to take the kiddos for the time.  When it is the second option it is not as easy as picking up the phone and asking this family member or that close friend because the care givers have to have a minimal amount “security clearance”.

One such event (with option two) is coming up this weekend, yes over Valentine ’s Day.   Knowing of our needs Cheryl and I asked our licensing agency to help us find respite care way back at the end of December.  We had all the kiddos scheduled to go to our usual home.  About a week and a half ago our licensing agency emailed us telling us that the family we had scheduled with were no longer available and we were out of luck.

What did that mean for Cheryl and I?  Scramble time.

With only about two weeks before a Friday evening, all day Saturday and most of the day Sunday what type of person could we ask?  That short of notice over a weekend when something special is going on we will have to ask someone to re-arrange their plans.  So to answer the question we could only ask people who we thought would be forgiving that we would ask on such short notice and would still be willing to help out.  We reached out to our Engaged Encounter group (the community group we will be involved in this weekend), however because of the specialness of the weekend all group members are in the same boat as we are, helping with the weekend.  After them we had a short list of people and finally found our saving couple Crystal and Scott Bott who, because of the job backgrounds, meet the “security clearance” and were wonderful enough to rearrange their time so we can be there for 30 engaged couples.

One large topic that I don’t think Cheryl or I talk about enough on here is the need for personal and community time.  As we have gone through our baby puzzle journey some times that need gets pushed to the back burners.  There is always another diaper to change, another sippy cup to fill, another boo-boo to kiss, another dirty front room to clean up, another load of laundry to put over, another sink full of used bottles to scrub, another banana to slice, but there is only one full time partner through it all.  For those of you on your own baby puzzle journeys (no matter where you are) take some time to remember that all parts of your relationships, your mommy roles, and daddy roles all need a little bit of nurture and care for.

And if I did not say it enough THANK YOU CRYSTAL AND SCOTT

Thanks for reading.

This Last Weekend

Weekends are the time when Cheryl and I get to be with each other and kiddos the most out of any other time of the week.  We get to get up with the kiddos and be with them all day long.  No rushing in the morning, no running late in the evening; we are home together.  It seems like we end up packing more into a weekend day than ever could into a week day.  I blame the perceived flexible schedule.  The days are our oyster and we can make of them as we see fit.

This last weekend actually started with the middle kiddo getting his cast off.  Because I have never had a broken bone I have always just assumed things about the healing process.  It seems that some of my misconceptions of them have been set straight.  The little guy was a champ taking it off.  The doctor showed Cheryl the bone and the outer part of the bone was healed, but still has a split in the inner (he said it could take another month to heal all the way.  Either way the cast came off.  Even though the little guy did not mind the sounds involved in cutting off the cast he now is not a fan of walking.  (looks like he is back where he was when it was put on).20141213_094650

Later, on Saturday morning we decided to get up and go to a couple of stores.  The boys needed new shoes and we had run low on a few stock items at home.   After a Cheryl made a pancake breakfast, we headed out.  On the way out of the complex I suggested we take the middle kiddo to get his hair cut (we have permission to have his hair cut, but we do not have permission for the other two kiddos).  We swung into the local quick hair cut shop (which is where I took the picture from Saturday).  The cut was a success and the kiddo did a great job.  I think both Cheryl and I envisioned melt down city, but he did great.

We continued our morning by going to a few shops in Goodyear.  First stop a lady’s shop.  I stayed outside with the kiddos since the aisles seem to be so close together and it is hard to maneuver the bus of a stroller we have.  Both boys and I played a little game of “roar hands” (the boys love to make growing sounds so I joined in one time and showed them how to make “claws”).  They loved it mostly because of how awesome “roar hands” can be.  Time flew by and before we knew it Cheryl was done and we walked to a large aisled electronic store.   We strolled around a bit and made no purchases (it was really just in between the first store and the shoe store).  On the way out Cheryl asked for the oldest kiddos’ hand at which he refused and instead went limp down to the floor to throw a little tantrum.  We took him outside and got him out of the funk.

We continued on our journey down the sidewalk past a small aisle grape and potato store and past a couple other stores.  We came to the shoe store and found the aisle (yes they were small aisles) for the kiddos shoes.  The store clerk informed us of the “deals” they were having.  Later we asked the same clerk for assistance and she eventually convinced us to measure the kiddos’ feet.  It turns out that even though they mostly wear the same sized shoes the boy’s sizes a bit further apart.  We found two sets of shoes in the appropriate size (both of which light up) and went to the counter to check out.  As we were waiting, the oldest one found many interesting things at eye level that he wanted to touch.  Cheryl told him not to with which he responded by touching a different item.  I told him to stop with which he responded by going limp to the floor and having a tantrum.  I took him outside (since we had not paid yet) and by the time Cheryl had finished paying he was again out of his funk.

We decided to head back to the car since there were no more shops that we wanted to look at in this direction.  We walked past the many stores we had on the way there.  On the way back, I reminded Cheryl that we wanted to go into a store that was in the opposite direction of when we first started to find a table cloth.  We devised a plan that I would stay of the kiddos in the car while Cheryl ran in very quickly (this particular store has very small and aisles that make lots of turns).  As Cheryl went to leave the middle boy 20141206_183257figured it was his time to have a little tantrum.

Later on in the day, after the kiddos all had lunch and naps and played and several more tantrums for varying reasons we decided to go to a holiday festival in the great City of Avondale.  There was going to be amusement rides and street fair vendors and live music and snow.  We clothed all of the kiddos in sub-zero type clothing and loaded the car.  Cheryl, the master parker found a great spot right next to the barricades.  Lots of vendors and a as promised a Ferris Wheel.   We walked the length of the event and back again, but no snow.  The word on the snow (other than it was not real snow) was they had to close it down because when it was being made it came out too much like ice.  At the end of the event the kiddos got to see the jolly red suited guy in passing and both boys loved their red and white light up rods.

Sunday came and we did many of the same things that Saturday had in store for us.  An extended breakfast time followed by loading the kiddos up for a quick trip in the morning to a local store (we needed to get a few last minute things done early because we had planned a trip to see foster grandma Becky (FGB).  We ran those few errands with minimal issues and back home in time for lunch before a nap.  FGB called during that time to let us know that another weekend would be better.  After nap time we had lots of time for playing on their bikes.  The little girl even stood on her own holding onto a bike.  We watched Christmas movies with the kiddos and again dinner time and bed time came.

Cheryl and I turned in around 9:30 and I promptly fell asleep; a few minutes after midnight and I hear crying in one of the monitors.  I look over at the monitor next to me and to had quick spikes of red.  “I’ll go check him” Cheryl says to me.  A few minutes after Cheryl left I followed.  “He threw up, will you check his bed and see if any got on there?”  Nope it was contained.  Cheryl and I spent the hours between midnight and 4:45 trying to help the oldest of three feel better.  Just as he started to fall to sleep I heard the little lady reminding me it was time to eat.  Guess I am up for the morning, for the week.

Thanks for reading.  Have a great week everyone!!!