Language development is one of the most intriguing things I can think of. I remember as a young child sitting in history class, maybe in sixth or seventh grade listening to my teacher teach on some ancient civilization. I remember it because of the un-thought out question that I had. The statement was made that the civilization did not have a written language. Before the teacher could explain further my hand sprung up and I was called on to ask “if they did not write things down, how did they communicate?” Yes I very un-thought out question. Being able to communicate is the the same thing as being able to write.
Read more here: http://www.oaksacorns.com/baby-puzzle/learning-language-in-toddler-time
This holiday season has been another good one. Cheryl says, “I love watching the kiddos discover the Christmas season.” The kiddos get excited seeing so many things. Every time they see the out door lights we have a barrage of “wows” and “look, look”. They get excited with every Christmas tree they see. B-Rad loves to declare “ho-ho-ho”.
Christmas Eve we hopped in the car and went looking at the lights on the neighborhood homes. Christmas morning we woke up and had breakfast. The kiddos opened their stockings at their high chairs. After, the kiddos opened many of their gifts. In the afternoon time family came by for short greetings and then more for dinner. In all, it was a good day.
Some things we did we plan to make into a tradition. Giving the kiddos memories and making traditions has been good.
Thanks for reading. To come in the new year we hope to have more updates of the permanent persuasion.
“It’s different when they are your’s”.
Two years and a few months ago, Cheryl and I had the fortunate encounter of listening to friends talk about their own experience as foster and later adoptive parents. Long time readers might remember me writing about them. They showed us the path to fostering and took our baby puzzle blog in a whole new direction. They explained to Cheryl when she asked, “when did you feel like they were yours?” “Oh honey, they were never mine, they were gifts from God, we just got a chance to take care of them for a little while.”
On our Balck Friday we head to the stores in search of new possessions. New things that we can own. New things we can manipulate and change. New things that are ours. They can be held as a shiny new object. They can be thrown away without a second look. On this glorious discounted day we search for the deal of a life time. We search for things we can possess, things we can own.
Humans cannot be owned. “It’s different when they are your’s”. I was raised by an adopted mom. My dad was raised by adopted dad. The children who are placements in our home cannot be thrown away without a second look, therefore they are not our possession, but gifts from God.
Today, yes even on Black Friday, I am happy for things that I still long for. Many of my things are not able to be bought at a store. Today I am happy to know that God has given me many gifts. Today, I am happy to be reminded that family and friends alike, have given goods examples of the gifts I have been afforded. While others still believe “It’s different when they are your’s”, I know the things that truly matter in life are not those things that I own, they are not things I can throw away or dismiss, they are something much different then any Black Friday sale can provide
Today, remember what you were thankful for yesterday. Happy Black Friday!
We had a typical monthly visit from our worker last Friday. This was the first time she had come to our home since the kiddos have come into our care (46 days). She had to meet earlier than I could make it home for the whole meeting. By the middle of her visit, I walked into the on going conversation. By that point the worker had expressed to Cheryl that she need to know by September 8th weather we would adopt the kiddos. As I said, we have only known them for about six weeks. We have done very little in the way of discerning and have been concentrating a lot more on LR’s case. We spent a lot of time over the weekend talking about it. We know we can’t force a feeling in that short amount of time. Instead, we are going to respond that we are open to building a relationship with the kiddos and are willing to consider making adoption. We thought we had more than a year to make this decision with how the courts had been talking. Changes may be on the way for the Covert’s because if our response is not what the case worker is looking for than she may disrupt placement. Never a dull moment.
One month ago the court hearing was pushed back one month, today we had a hearing for LR. A change in the case plan from reunification to severance and adoption was issued by the judge.
Cheryl reported that LR’s dad’s attorney requested to be dropped from the case which was not granted. The judge believes that the attorney’s is still needed for the pre-trial conference. That attorney reported that the father’s wishes are to have his rights severed. LR’s mom’s attorney stated that mom does not share the sentiment. The pre-trial conference was set for September 21st @ 10am and the judge indicated that if both parents do not come that day he may sever at that time.
Cheryl and I plan to take the day off together. Nothing is set in stone about the future of this case. However August 24th, 2015 is a change for LR’s life. We ask that all of our friends, family and faithful readers pray for God’s guidance in the coming month and for whatever is in store for us.
Today we had LR’s brother and dad over for pool time and BBQ. Keeping the kiddo’s family unit in place is important to both Cheryl and I and brother’s dad. They are forever brother and sister. Having the chance to keep them in each other’s lives will hopefully give them identity as they grow. It is interesting because this was not a visioned family unit before we started fostering, but now seems to be the most natural idea we can think of. Happy Saturday everyone.
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About two weeks ago our new placement kiddos were assigned a new case aid and parent aid. These workers are responsible for dropping off and picking up the placement and for monitoring parent/child interaction. They also work with the parent(s) on a slew of skills needed for parenting. They play an important role in successful re-unification.
We have had a few interactions (phone calls and texts) with the case aid. She is a bit short however we are understanding. The situation (and reason for the post’s title) lies in interactions with our daycare workers. On Monday it was reported to them that every time the kiddo’s are picked up the younger smells. Yesterday the case aid came during a meal time. The daycare worker tried to give the case aid a piece of toast (not jellied toast, just bread that had been toasted). The kiddo started to freak out because when the worker refused. She finally let him take back his food and made a comment to our daycare worker that she was just going to get him into the car and take the food away. Then this morning when dropping our two infants off we were told by our the infant worker (a third worker reporting) that the case aid is very rude to her.
We love our daycare and also believe that the kiddo’s deserve a chance to be with their parents. Cheryl and I do not want our daycare to become disillusioned of us because of poor treatment of others. We also do not want a case aid who is short with us for reporting poor, unprofessional behavior. I personally am leaning towards ignoring the reported problems until the lack of professional behavior is directed at me or Cheryl. The problem that I have with that plan is the poor treatment of hard workers. Also, my fear that the poor treatment is also present to the kiddos when we are not around.
What would you do?
I am going to start using “nicknames” for our kiddos so I do not have to refer to them as “the kiddo from October” or the “oldest kiddo” or the “youngest kiddo”. It is a concept that another blogger her at wordpress uses and is easy enough to follow. So
“oldest kiddo brother” = “OKB”
“younest kiddo sister” = “YKS”
“kiddo from October” = “LR” (my own nickname for her)
Tonight our worker for LR will be visiting. Cheryl and I always get nerves when someone from DCS comes to our home and not for any other reason other than the unknown. We have heard lots of whispers about a case plan being changed. We may hear more about this tonight. As I said in my last post, LR’s court date is coming up this Friday.
Monday OKB and YKS had their first visit. Some times in the past we have noticed other placements would struggle after the visit, but the kiddos seemed to do well. Their case worker dropped off lots of things that belong to OKB and YKS. It is hard to see the state by which they are delivered. Maybe it is just one of my sticking points or that we have had other placements go home, but no one’s belongings should travel in a trash bag. We were fortunate to find an organization in the valley that provides new bags (along with a bunch of other things) for kiddos in the system. I think one of the largest problems people have is just not knowing about the many services that the community will step up with.
Well that is it for now. Lots of things coming in the near future. Thanks for reading.
Earlier this month we updated that one of our foster kiddos was going home with a great aunt. We have since heard from his family, letting us know he is doing well. The family he has gone to live with will care for him and knowing that he has a simi-permanent home is satisfying even though it is still a bit heart breaking, not getting to see him grow and develop.
On to our own home, on the tenth of July we welcomed into our home a brother-sister set of foster kiddos. The brother is two months shy of three and the sister will turn one on Saturday. Transition and adjustment takes time. We (Cheryl and I) are used to other kiddos. I fun thing is getting to know new little ones. Even in the face of struggle we get a few giggles and smiles. The brother-sister duo has a court date two Fridays from now so possibly there will be an update coming.
The sole remaining kiddo from October is also still with us. Yes that means we have an 11month old, 14 month old and an almost three year old. The veteran kiddo is doing well. We have seen her first steps, although she is not anywhere near a full time walker. She says lots of baby talk and what I swear is “hi”. At the end of meal time she signs “all done”. She loves to climb things and is a big time dare devil. She also has a court date this coming Friday so there will most likely be updates coming from that as well.
There is never a dull moment in our home. I will try to do a better job of posting on a regular basis. Thanks for taking your time to read and support us.
It has been several weeks since we have posted. Been busy keeping up with the day to day.
An update for the oldest of our foster kiddo, as we posted on the 14th of May the plan is still for him to go live relatives in the area. We were told he would be out of our home by the end of May. We are now one-third of the way through June and he is still living with us. It is unclear when he will be leaving us.
An update on our youngest. She turned 1 on May 9th, as we have posted. She is standing but has not started to walk. She eats lots of different foods. One of the brightest changes has been a development of a personality. Today we received an email from her worker telling us that the parents have notified the state that they wish to end visits and take steps in severing their parental rights to their baby.
Lots of mixed emotions in the Covert household today. As we understand it, the court hearing in July will still happen. Then there will be a second hearing 30 days later. From that point there is a whole host of other stuff that we are not sure about. We will keep you all posted.