BFP, for many in the fertility/infertility world this acronym stands for “big fat positive”. Time indeed offers perspective.
Did you know that those nighty-nine cent stores sell pregnancy tests? I bet more than one reader probably just laughed to themselves thinking about high school kids running to the dollar store buying a test or two. (We buy five to seven a month) Teenagers are told that they don’t want that second red line (the cheaper versions have a simple red line, not a smiley face or “+” sign). As a teenager we learn BFP… but it stands for something different “big fat problem”. As adults we have found a new acronym for “big fat problem” and that is BFN or “big fat negative”.
This morning I read on my face book page a comment “…all set and there is intention in my day. What is your intention today?” No good happens without planning and this ever important idea “INTENTION”; however one cannot just have intention, one must also have perseverance. Without determination and grit the intention will get run over by the stampeding bull known as life. I too am “all set with intention in my day”, but I also know that even if I do not get what I want, what I intend that is not a reason to go off course of what I seek : our “Baby Puzzle”.
The cycle of procreation does not look like that of a Hollywood movie. It is much more mundane and average, right? The cycle goes something like – aunt flow for three to five days followed by romantic times for about a week to ten days and then about two weeks of waiting. (Yeah I know if can be a whole lot more descriptive, but hey the topic of this post is the “intention” not the “action”). We were married on November 5, 2005. With some quick math we have gone through that described process about 80 times. I guess not every month has been this way but I would say we have achieved BFP about 70 times – no not the “positive” but the “problem”.
As I mentioned in the last post, our RE suggested that we lose weight and that would cause use to achieve a BFP (positive) and as I said we have lost about 43% of our overall weight. What are the serious options of losing weight? Most people think “stop eating so much and exercise and it will happen”. Most overweight people know that equation makes sense, but it hardly ever works. The intention is there but the perseverance is difficult. It is not as simple as I will only eat 900 calories for a year and lose a whole bunch of weight; even our bodies sabotage that process.
Through our journey (intention) we sought many different ideas like joining the gym (5 different times), different cook books, HCG diet, and even considered doing the lap ban procedure. In the end we chose a meal replacement plan which had an educational piece which has taught us healthy habits. The most interesting thing through all of this has been the medical industry its self. We have had as many as 6 different medical insurance plans tell us they would pay for us to have surgery to lose the weight, but not a cent for a meal replacement plan which taught us healthy habits. Now we have had 4 medical insurance plans tell us they will run simple diagnostics in determining infertility, but have an exclusion list for treatment which is quite the extensive and detailed list.
I understand that health care is expensive and that insurance companies have a bottom line that they need to keep in the black. Even with these intentions we have in mind it has taken more than just desire and want, but requires drive a determination. On one end we had an insurance company refuse to help us be more health and the other end refuse help us conceive. They do not have to pay for all of it, but it is beyond frustrating that there is no assistance for any of it.
As a reader you may be thinking “well if your only intention was to get assistance why not just do the surgery?” – which is an excellent point. It was a course that we did consider. In 2002 Nick’s mom had “gastric bypass surgery” and she was able to lose more than 100 pounds from this surgery. You see in social setting a famous people like Al Roker who have had success with the procedure. The success of more than 100 pounds lost was something to celebrate, but the flip side was Pat had violent reactions to certain foods and from 2002 to 2011 she saw a general decline of her health. In the end we were more skeptical of a procedure like that. Just this last month Cheryl made a comment about one of the hormones that she was taking and therefore buying. “I am going to buy 10 days worth. If I get a positive (BFP) then the insurance will cover prescription.”
A BFP for us would indeed be a “positive”. We live each day with intention fortified with perseverance.
Tomorrow at 11am we will meet with our RE for the first time since March. Much thanks for the support that you all show. Please consider helping us complete our Baby Puzzle.