Language development is one of the most intriguing things I can think of. I remember as a young child sitting in history class, maybe in sixth or seventh grade listening to my teacher teach on some ancient civilization. I remember it because of the un-thought out question that I had. The statement was made that the civilization did not have a written language. Before the teacher could explain further my hand sprung up and I was called on to ask “if they did not write things down, how did they communicate?” Yes I very un-thought out question. Being able to communicate is the the same thing as being able to write.
Read more here: http://www.oaksacorns.com/baby-puzzle/learning-language-in-toddler-time
The link above is an attachment to my new vlog entry. Lots of good stuff on stereotypes as they relate to parenting.
In this episode I talk about the steps we have taken so far to being a single income family and for me to be a stay-at-home dad. Cheryl and I are goal setters and planners. Additionally we believe heavily in the family unit. We are placing the value of family ahead of career in order to give our children more time for the things we think are important. It has been a 10 month process. If you are looking at having a parent stay at home. Think about what you want it to look like. What will change. How will the family need to change. How will the family benefit from this change. What might be your stumbling blocks. We concentrated a lot on budget and finances. We are excited to be able to teach our children values, morals and responsibilities.
Today was LR’s next court date. We arrived to court about 30 minutes early. You never know how long traffic will take so we left a little early. Walking into the court house we go through a metal protector and make our way down to the court room. It is a long hallway and there are other court rooms on the way. Lots of people and families trying to make their own ways through the system. Finally we make it to outside our court room and find two seats together.
We sat and waited, people watching. I wondered to myself the many stories that brought them here. About twenty minutes of waiting we finally see a fimiliar face, the bio mom’s attorney. She stops and asks us if we have seen the bio mom, we had not. She merges back into the crowd looking for her client. A few minutes later we see the GAL. Before making her way over to us, the GAL stops and talks with the the mom’s attorney.
In the hand of the bio mom’s attorney was a piece of paper; the two attorney talked about its contents for a few minutes. Finally the bio mom’s attorney gets up and leaves. We get a chance to talk with the GAL and she says that the document was a concent letter to severe bio mom’s rights. Cheryl and I have a moment of a sigh of relief.
We go back to waiting 10:30 ( the court time comes and goes). Time creeps to 10:50 and the court room sign clicks off. A feel a lump in my throat as the court room attendant comes out and calls for a different case. Repeat 11:25 same lump same results, another case and again at 11:40 and again at 11:55. By this point the crowd has wind led down to just the people in our case.
Finally 2:15 and we are called in. The proceedings are fairly technical, but by the end the judge made the ruling that the bio mom’s rights would be severed. Now, we are onto adoptions. We have all ready contacted our lawyer. We will have to wait to be assigned a new DCS worker for adoption. From what we have heard, the process and timing takes about 3 months. However, as we have learned over the years, time may take longer. We will keep you posted. Thanks for reading
As we prepare for the holiday coming this Thursday, it leads me to be introspective about the things we have experienced and are thankful for. 2015 has been another unique year. I am thankful for many things and I am sure that if I sat listing them all it may sound like everything in my life. Here are three things for our “Turkey Tuesday”.
Since last Thanksgiving, Cheryl and I have said goodbye to two of our three placements, hello to two new kiddos and grown closer to our three current placements. I am very thankful for the many gifts that each child gives us. They all have their own personalities, but in their own unique way they show us what it means to love and be loved. They grow and discover the world around them and as they do they remind me of the simple things in our lives that are just as important as the more complicated ones. Seeing the world through a child’s eye has a certain level of innocence and can un-complicate a complicated decision without even trying. I am very thankful for our three little ones with us and the two littles back home with their families.
My second Turkey Tuesday Thanks is from back in April. I spent 16 days in the hospital and another two weeks on “couch rest”. During that time a lot of the slack I left behind had to be picked up. Some of the slack was by family, some by co-workers and a whole lot by my loving wife. Cheryl was a rock who went to work, came home and took care of our kiddos and found time to take care of her emotionally fragile husband. I am thankful for the family and friends who lent her a hand in taking care of the kiddos, of the house, the dogs, and her. Cheryl went to bat for me, making sure the doctors were on track, she slept on hard chairs and she held me up. This Thanksgiving, I am thankful for all of the slack pickers in my time of need.
The third Turkey Tuesday Thanks is for the many coming changes that Cheryl and I anticipate in the coming year. We feel like we will have a more clear understanding what our “baby puzzle” picture will look like. We have been working feverishly to set ourselves up for our “domestic dad” plan and we will have a more active role in forming the people our littles are becoming. Every year there is change and I know that nothing is ever static. Having a chance to live out our goals and our plans makes me thankful.
So, from the Covert’s house and my own blogging desk, I want to wish you a very happy and healthy Thanksgiving. And that you may remember to remember the many blessings in your life. Happy Thanksgiving.
It has been several weeks since we have posted. Been busy keeping up with the day to day.
An update for the oldest of our foster kiddo, as we posted on the 14th of May the plan is still for him to go live relatives in the area. We were told he would be out of our home by the end of May. We are now one-third of the way through June and he is still living with us. It is unclear when he will be leaving us.
An update on our youngest. She turned 1 on May 9th, as we have posted. She is standing but has not started to walk. She eats lots of different foods. One of the brightest changes has been a development of a personality. Today we received an email from her worker telling us that the parents have notified the state that they wish to end visits and take steps in severing their parental rights to their baby.
Lots of mixed emotions in the Covert household today. As we understand it, the court hearing in July will still happen. Then there will be a second hearing 30 days later. From that point there is a whole host of other stuff that we are not sure about. We will keep you all posted.
“…oh dear, they are not ours, they are God’s, we are just lucky enough to take care of them for the time they are with us.” – Patti Hanks
Last night we had our oldest kiddos dad and grandma over for dinner. We shared a meal and talked about many of the things the oldest kiddo likes. We gathered many of the important documents dad would need. We had packed an abundance of clothes for him. Another box we filled with toys and his pillow and other items that are the oldest’s go to items. All of these things we gave to dad and grandma.
After dinner, dad carried to grandma’s car and we packed all of those material things into the car. We all said goodbye to the oldest kiddo. After, he was put into his car seat. We watched as the oldest kiddo drove from our lives.
Today we wake with just memories. We wake with two kiddos, both who will miss their foster brother. Our middle kiddo asked where he was and I am sure will continue to ask. Cheryl and I try to live the words that our friend shared with us, Patti, but just as last September I cannot deny the feeling of a hole.
We do not know what will happen next. We do not know when another kiddo will come to us. Or how they might get along with our family. All we know is today we wake with two kiddos who we are lucky enough to take care of for the time they are with us.
We have not posted much in the last month. Nothing in particular to post about, life seems to be as busy or more busy than usual. Lots and lots of little stresses.
In late March our licensing worker left Catholic Charities and since then we have kinda been in limbo. We have a new worker, but she is nothing like the one we had. Guess we are not good with change. Then in mid-April our CPS case worker informed us that our case was being reassigned which has brought about a new CPS worker. We have found out that the case aid will be handing over the case load in early June. Lots of roll over and transition, we are very happy to be a solid force for the kiddos in all of this.
We have encountered Child Family Team meeting, permanency hearings and will have a review board meeting next week. Most of the time, as foster parents we wait to hear what was decided for us. Reviews, diagnosis, all sorts of things that happen to us and we are not much a part of the decision making. This is ironic because through the days, weeks and months we are the ones making the small decisions and choices. Guess the small decisions and choices are our realm, but we must depend on others for the larger ones.
Through a lot of April we avoided illness; the same statement cannot be made about May. I took a go around with strep throat and just as I started to feel better, Cheryl caught the same bug. In the middle of the two of getting sick the little guy also came down with a fever, but the doc said he is too young for that type of illness. Anyway it gets said, both Cheryl and I have been down for the count since about the 8th of May.
The best part of dealing with the stresses of life and the unexpected changes is the many new things we see the two little ones experiencing. We now have 1 and three-quarters crawlers. New words are being practiced and spoken. The chorus of ABCDE… comes from the back seat rider. Very soon we will have a full-fledged walker and not just the one or two steps to and from pieces of furniture. The little guy is starting to lift his arms when I go to pick him up and has become a pro at eating baby foods who also loves his coconut water. The priceless pieces of their lives that gets shared every day is truly wonderful.
Thanks for reading and have a wonderful day.
Half-life. In school I found the study of decay of atoms interesting. Listening to this scientist explain how they knew for certain a dinosaur was a certain age, or how long nuclear waste would remain destructive for. Then we find out, oh well maybe that study was wrong or off because the understanding of a half-life of an atom was misunderstood when the original calculations were made. There is certainly rhyme and reason to this study, but also a bit of debate with it as well. At the end we are closer to the conclusion then we were the day before.
What have you done with half of your life? How many people have come and gone in that time? How many times have you moved careers? How many new hobbies have you picked up? How many things have you learned about? How many things have remained constant? What has changed in that time?
The little boy who has come to live with us has now, as of today lived more than half of his life with us. He has learned lots of things like the art of babbling. He loves to turn and roll and roll and turn (not yet crawling but that it just around the corner). He stands for three or more seconds. He can hold his own bottle now even though he much prefers to have someone do it for him. He has hit so many milestones in this half of his life. He has started eating solids and gotten pretty good at letting those end up in his mouth and not all over everything around him. He has learned to play, holding his shaker, making it count and tell him colors.
Another 4 months (which is how long he has been with us) and he will be at the one year mark. The things that he has accomplished are nothing in comparison to what he will have a chance to accomplish. It has been a pleasure to be a part of his growth. What will the next four month be like?
I cannot say with any certainty what it will be like, what we may encounter. I do know that my half-life of being a foster parent continues to change as I get a better picture of what it is like. After a rather negative interaction this past week Cheryl was told by our worker that fostering is a thankless job. The problem that we have is we do not look at it like a job, it is our life. We are living and breathing and do not look for thanks, but rather human decency. I cannot say with any certainty what it will be like, what we may encounter but I do feel like I have a better understanding of what our half-life as foster parents is like.
Thank you for reading. There will be much more to come in the coming days as a few looming thing become more clear.