Happy New Year

If someone had walked up to us last year and told us where will be this year on December 31st. we would have believed they were crazy! No way would we have made it all of the way through those treatments, that was supposed to be a long way out. Absolutely no way would we have gone through the foster licensing process and…. been blessed to with two little ones. Nope that was not what 2013 was going to look like. By this point of 2013 we expected to have a for sure answer for our fertility issues AND we would have been at least a few months expecting. 2012 usses would have look at us now and wondered what in the world did we do and how could we have made the decisions we made.

It is not so much the people we plan to be and the things we intend to get but rather how we handle the situations for the future. We have not mastered the art of being parents. We have not even mastered the art of sleeping through the night with a four month old. We have no idea what the future holds and now understand that the journey that we started writing about back in June does not end with becoming parents or some other grand event. Each day is a new puzzle piece.

We resolve to be more excepting of the things that we cannot change and make the best of what we get in the new year. Happy New Years everyone!

Perspective?

Imagine for a second you and a dear friend walk into a local restaurant in the early afternoon, say around 2. You sit down and start to look over the menu and on the other side of the restaurant 3 adults sit with two children and one of those children is making lots of noise. OK so maybe that little one is making her first peeps and you decide to give them the benefit of the doubt. You and your friend decide to order because let’s face it this and the drive in across the street are the only places open because it is Christmas Eve. The baby has not stopped fussing and caring on. What are those three adults doing? Why can’t they get the little one to be quiet? The baby obviously has some needs that those three incompetent adults can’t meet! You quietly whisper to your friend who you had decided to had a mid-afternoon lunch with something about how inappropriate this is. The little one is now crawling on the floor, my goodness. No parenting skills, no support, obviously those adults need to hear you are disgusted. Another roar of chirps come from the baby and in a voice far louder then conversation needs you tell her, “just take her outside all ready!” There that ought to do it. Wait, the adults aren’t moving. You know you said it loud enough. They truly have decided to wreck my holiday. Another twenty minutes of loud baby time in an empty restaurant. You make several more comments and finally those adults decide to pay their bill and pack up all of their stuff. Why so much stuff? Incompetent fools you think to yourself as they leave with their are full of babies, toys, and left over food. Finally, some piece and quiet!

All right, role playing is over.

Christmas Eve was a good day for all of us. A little bit of daycare in the morning to help keep the little ones on schedule.

Then we had a visit with mom outside of the CPS offices at a local restaurant. Family time is always a blessing. Nice to see the little ones able to be with someone who gets their signs and is not guessing a lot of the time.

We finished out the day with Cheryl’s dad, step mom, brother and nephew. Great food and again good chance to have family time. Our nephew is getting so big and loved the Christmas Eve present opening.

From the Covert family on Christmas morning (yes late night feeding just got over), we hope you have a chance to be with family and friends yesterday and today, no matter how new or familiar they are to your life. Merry Christmas!!!

Diaper Politics

Diaper politics. Let’s face it, having kiddos come to you in the middle of the night makes it hard to have on hand the correct diaper size, right? Well from our welcome to parenting we had gotten some diapers, which we are very great flu for. The kiddos came with diapers and because of their own Devlopment they were not the sizes we thought they would be. Thank goodness they did come with diapers from mom. We made it to store the next day and bought the correct size the next day.

Being new parents we had no idea how many diapers a kiddo needs in a week and then it came time to pack for daycare. 4 diapers for a nine hour period should be ok, right? Well every day it was enough. And every day our care takers would remind us they need more diapers for the next day and…. And then suggest that we bring at least a weeks worth a day at a time. Great advice and we would have loved to not need to pack the every day, but what if we packed too many and had none for home? I cannot imagine the meltdown that may have ensued if we had discovered a wet diaper and had no diapers to meet the need.

One of Cheryl’s primary goals for Friday was make it to Costco for the industrial amount of diapers. Mission was accomplished. Going to Costco and buying just three items gets you some interesting looks but I am sure that if those looking took a second look they would see the content and understand a bit better. We can show up to daycare with an appropriate amount of diapers for the whole week.

One huge recommendation that we learned yesterday, pack the Diapers and the pre made bottles with formula in different places. Yep. This is of course I case the trusty bottle cap that is fastened securely slips off and drips all over the bag including the diapers which will then not be dry. The lucky part for us was that the bottle cap must have come off in the later afternoon because the diapers that had been changed were all dry, it was not until home did we realize the content of the cooler was wet. Above all else, keep your diapers clean and dry.

For the first four days we had no strolls, just the wetness. This was a point of concern of course. We asked the doctor two days in and he said that we should be concerned after seven days. We went from concern to a lovely strong odor two days later. Lesson learned from this, keep track, but don’t beg a plead for the BM because of its potency. Still working with the little one and even his burping seems to be few a far between no matter how long we try to burp him.

Diapers are certainly important. They can run the agenda for the day and keep a high value in conversation. We are confident that we have taken the corner on the politics surrounding the diaper.

Thanks for reading.

One Week In

One week in and I can honestly say we have found some what of a rhythm. We have set up some of these essential services for the kiddos, had a successful visit with the kiddos’ parent and have kept the house up while all of that other stuff has happened.

One thing that has struck Nick and I is the overwhelming generosity. A former coworker gave up all type of baby things like burp towels, a bouncer and a little rocker which the younger kiddo loves to no end. Our daycare reached out into its community and asked for christmas presents for the little ones without us asking. On Thursday they surprised us with five wrapped gifts for the kiddos. Also our worker brought a ton of presents that were given to the agency we work with. A couple of coworkers went with me to a gently used store and bought a few out fits for the little ones. Mom and sister continue to be a wealth of knowledge and experience.

The joint visit was an experience. It was a bit emotional for everyone involved. The kiddos mom has so much love for her children. We are really going to work hard to help and support her. We plan on another joint visit on Christmas Eve so the family can be together.

We have had some growing pains with our CPS worker, but all in due time I guess. I know everyone is busy and patience is pretty important.

This weekend we plan on getting out of the house and doing some things together. Not sure exactly what yet, but one thing on the agenda, find a second full time crib. Apparently what we have is ok for a short amount of time, but we need a more permanent solution. Growing pains, we will get it worked out this week.

Thanks for reading.

A Day in the Life of a Foster Parent

Coo coo cooo… Hum, thump thump, thrumph… I awaken to a waking baby. 1:15. Head is still not clear, swing my legs off the bed. No, what, ok maybe he will fall back asleep if, I walk him around rocking him a bit. No, not time for feeding. Around and around the room and now a hard cry. Up pops Cheryl. “Nick, let’s feed him.”

Out to the front room. 2 ounces hot, 2 ounces cold, 2 scoops… swish swish swish! Oh, the little drip of formula milk is just right. Got that down after the six from the Sunday. He sucks it down like a pro. Cheryl, like clock work, turns him over to burp him. Pat pat pat, burp pat pat pat burp. Up and walking around just a bit. He is asleep again. “Nick, let’s go back to sleep.

My head hits the pillow and like no time has passed the clock say 2:10 fuss fuss fuss wiggle fuss fuss. Cheryl is not waking. Head is still a little fuzzy, swing my head off the bed. Pick him up and pat pat, rock rock. He is still up. Making it look like maybe, Hungary again? No way could he need to eat again? Maybe his diaper? No… good there. Still not falling back to sleep. Maybe the vibrating chair. Vvvv vvvv vvvv vvvv. No… he is still wide awake. Stand and sit, stand and sit, stand and sit. Over and over and nothing. 40 or so minutes, Cheryl is now up, “he can’t need to eat.” Like a pro Cheryl gets him to calm and get back to sleep as the clock reads 3:20 … 3:47 what wait… Cheryl slips into bed and yes he is with us.

4:29 … the Empire theme song from Star Wars sounds. Time to get up. Cheryl… you are going to work. Do you need to get up? No 20 more minutes. 5:44 time to get up. Oops… How did that happen? Let me take him. Into the vibrating seat so I can fix another bottle. 2 ounces, 2 ounces, 2 scoops. I have my spit up towel, bottle, rocking chair, oh yes… Baby. Suck, suck, slurp, slurp… Down goes the bottle. Pat pat pat burp, pat pat pat burp. All done. Cheryl hurriedly getting ready for work.

She moved the car seat around so the little one could ride correctly. I am staying home… On the menu for the day after caring for two little ones with the loving help of Cheryl’s mom; get child care set up, take children to doctors and get signed up for assistance. Cheryl is out the door.

Get those forms filled out that our child care placed gave us. Name, date of birth, types of food, sleep and eating habits… so so much information and only very little that I can give. Soon, move, knock, coo from the baby monitor. Cheryl’s mom says the little one was up until 2am. I go in and get her. Check the diaper. Dry. Down into the high chair. Pancakes and milk are what’s for breakfast. Ok she can pick up pieces to put in her mouth, I can call our child care location.

“What do you mean we are back onto a waiting list?” Yep, the place we had chosen is not available. Good thing I did not drive there and get shot down. Oh and good thing Cheryl had found other places that might also work. Hard to plan for this sort of thing because well… it is pretty unexpected. YES!!! Spots are open, just need to drive there and complete the paperwork.

My wonderful mother in law made another miracle happen, we have two doctors appointments in the afternoon. Game plan. MIL stays home with the little ones and I go to the doctors office and child care location to fill out the abundance of the paperwork that needs to be completed.

I made it to the child care location. Got the paperwork. Name, date of birth, types of food, sleeping and eating habits, and so so much information and only very little that I know. Filled out the paperwork and gave it turned it into the staff. They said that all they were waiting on is confirmation from CPS. Cheryl had told me on the drive to the child care location that we still had not been assigned a worker with CPS and should be hearing from them by 3:00.

I get back into the car, how could it be so late? Down Dysart I drove and yes, traffic flows so much slower when you need to be somewhere. Finally at home and back in the house. Lots of things need to be packed. Stroller, diapers, bottles, formula, and so many other must have which I am no accustomed to parking each time when leaving with children. The whirlwind that insured with packing was one for the record books. After encountering the day out with the children I think I did well, just need a few more diapers and the scooper for the formula.

Cheryl took a half day off to be there with me and her mom and she met us at the doctor’s office. Together we filled out the paperwork. Name, date of birth, types of food, sleeping and eating habits, and so much more information and so very little that we know. The little ones check out well, slight fever in the girl, but looked good. While in the patient room anther 2ounces, 2 ounces 2 scoops (well no scooper) and more suck suck, and pat pat pat burp.

Off to assistance. While in filling out the paperwork we hear a gentlemen talking to Cheryl’s mom, he once had fostered 6 siblings all at once. Name, date of birth, types of food, sleeping and eating habits, and so much more information and so very little that we know. I could not imagine how trying that was for him. So many generous people, so many helpful hearts.

Back at home… 2 ounces, 2 ounces, 2 scoops, pat pat pat burp. 4:38. Wait. When did the CPS worker call? They didn’t… Cheryl calls the child care providers and they also did not call to confirm for us. All of that effort and now author day that we have to wait. Cheryl was busy feeding the older after bathing her. The younger one went down and both are now sleeping.

It is still very early in the evening and I am sure there will be at least one more feeding, but this has been a day in the life of a foster parent.

Thanks for reading.

Mad Rush

Phone rang this evening after I fell asleep watching TV. Brother and sister heading to us.

As much as we plan, we could not understand the things we needed to have on hand. Off to Walmart to get a whole load of things. Not even sure what all ended up in the cart, but luckily we had my loving sister on the other line to have an even head.

Back to the house we came. Unloaded and put away the things we had gotten. All ready now. According to the CPS worker we have another hour or so to wait which we probably should be spending it resting…. not sure if I could sleep right now.

Time for one more shorter waiting.

Phone Call

Events from Friday…

Every time the phone rings my heart goes into my throat, is this the time? 4:29am, no just Nick getting ready for work. What do I need to get done today on my day off? Clean the car, clean the house, clean the clothes, visit my mom and install our car seats. And oh yeah, maybe become a fostering parent? “Bye Cheryl, I love you. time for work.”

Nick is out the door and oh yes, sorting – colors from whites. So many more essential colors from the whites, stick those in first. On the way out to the front room two large dishes, a few cups and on look there is my phone. Stick the clothes in and beep and beep they are set for 50 some minutes off to tackle those dishes. First let the water warm up from the frigid cold, maybe I could start wiping down the counter. Why haven’t we got a call yet. It has been more than 12 hours. How does this work. Ah, the steam from nice warm washing water stats to rise. First one of the large dishes and the second. Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz – my phone sounds like a mooing cow.

“Hey, any news”. Just Nick he made it to work just fine, but there went my heart, into my throat. “No,” I responded, just working away. So much to get done, I want this place to be perfect.

Another hour goes by another load of laundry goes in. Counter and dishes done, bathrooms are next. Our cute little frog toy sits on the counter staring at me as I start with the counter tops. Scrub scrub, “buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz,” moos my phone. My heart leaps back into my throat. Could this be the time we start fostering? I look at the caller ID our worker from the foster care agency we are working with. My heart climbs a bit higher. “Hello,” I ask? From the other end of the line, “any news?” Wait a second…. why is she asking if I have any news we are waiting on news from her. “No, we still have not heard back. How long do we normally wait to hear back?” I asked in confusion. She went on to explain that when our information is given to CPS the phone call should come through within two to three hours. Wait… I sat waiting last night and by about 6:30 we were out of that window of probability. My heart sunk.

Another hour went by, another load of laundry in, the dishwasher done and dishes out and front room and bedroom cleaned up…. Folding folding folding, “buzz buzz buzz buzz” mooed my phone. Caller ID displayed a number I do not know, my climbs back into my throat. Click. On the other line something about switching some plan. Oh my goodness my heart can’t keep going through this.

Another hour or so… Laundry switched over and I am out the door. Off to clean the car. So tough to get across the intersection coming out of our housing development. Across the inter… “Buzz buzz buzz buzz” mooes my phone. Car display says “NIck’s Work”. “Hello.” ,”any news,” how much more can I my heart handle? “No, just getting out of the house,” I explained. I went on to tell Nick about all that our worker told me. We both agreed that we feel like we had only a partial idea of what we should be expecting. We hung up and I drove on to get the car cleaned. Then over to the fire house. I learned that it is apparently a myth that fire stations will help show the correct ways to install car seats.

“Buzz buzz buzz buzz,” mooed again my phone. Caller ID “mom”. Click. “Hello,”. Hi sweetly, are you on your way up?” After calming my heart back into my chest I told her I was and the events of the morning. Mom continues to be supportive and helpful. Once up there we tried another fire house and another fire stations that will not help install car seats. We had lunch and did a little mother daughter grooming time at a local salon. Nice to have a good connection. Relaxing in the seat and, ” buzz buzz buzz buzz” mooed the phone. A Goodyear friend who a the end of the conversation offers to help install my car seats. Yes!!!

The drive home. Got on the road 30 minutes or so ahead of the rush hour traffic. 35 miles across the valley I drive. “Buzz buzz buzz buzz,” mooed the phone again. The hearts jumping has subsided a bit and now it feels a little less surprising. Caller ID, “Nick’s Work”. He asks about how the day went. I tell him about the events of the day and that I am on the way to finally get these car seats put in. We click off and I make my way to our friends house. The car seats are super simple and I know I can do it without a problem. Finally back home after my day off of “work”.

The evening goes by without the phone call we waited for. My heart got some good exercise. Sitting here on Saturday morning enjoying our time together and waiting for the moo of my phone, the moo from our worker.

Thanks for reading.

More News

At 3:35 this afternoon we received an email confirming that we are now licensed foster parents. About 10 minutes after that our worker called us and asked when we wanted to be placed on the list for possible placement. We said right away and our worker said she had a possible placement of two brothers. She said she would send our information to CPS and if we are chosen they would be calling us.

Lots of mixed emotions right now. We ran to the store and bought a few “essential” items of food. We are now home thinking we had better install our car seats. Sitting by the phone…

News….

This afternoon we found out from our worker we are just a few days from receiving our license and possible placement of children. This news is at the very least, unexpected. Our application had not been completed and submitted to the state until last Friday the 6th. We had been told that process should take about 10 weeks and we are looking at about 10 days. Excited and nervous all at once!