Two Will Become One, Most Likely?

At the end of April Cheryl and I had our monthly visit by our case workers for both of our kiddos.  The workers had agreed to both meet at the same time because they were coming from the same office and would be able to use the car pool lane in rush hour traffic.  It worked well for us also because it combined two meetings into one.

The monthly visits are for the purpose of the workers having contact with the kiddos.   They can see them in Cheryl and I’s home and also so they can ask about the progress of the kiddos.  There is a form of questions that we go through and by this point we know the questions that will be asked so things run pretty smoothly.  The worker for our younger kiddo went first.  Everything has been progressing well for her and the conversation went quickly.  Then the worker for our older kiddo’s worker went and we reported the same type of progress we had seen in past months.

At the end, the older kiddo’s worker told us that by the end of May he would be going to live with relatives.  The worker told us that she did not have more details for us, but that she would let us know as the time got closer.  It is good news for him as it is a mid-step back to his home.  As always, it is hard on Cheryl and I.

In the last two weeks, we have heard no further news about when the transfer will happen.  We understand that the logistics take a lot to hammer out and that it all does not happen overnight.  Still, it is hard to feel like we are an afterthought to the communication loop.

On a side note, our kiddo who went to live with his dad in early April will be coming over this weekend to visit.  We had hoped he could visit for his sister’s birthday, but schedules did not work out.  We are excited because our now oldest placement still asks where his playmate is and when he might see him.  Transitions are so hard for these kiddos.

Thanks for reading.  Have a great day!

Old is New… Again

Yesterday was the four week mark since the little ones left our home to live again with their mom.

The hours, days and even first week felt so surreal, no way had they left our lives for good.  We would find ourselves saying things we would only say for them like our songs or our nicknames.  We would find ourselves doing things around the house like they were there.  There empty rooms we called by name even still while they sat empty.  Yesterday morning I turned to Cheryl and said to her that today was the four week mark.  She was shocked and could not believe it had been that long.  I too cannot believe it has been that long.

We both went to work, each of us about our own day.  Around noon (I think about 11:40) my office phone range with the information plate saying Cheryl’s number. “Agnes says she is putting our name in for a little three month old girl and another year and a half year old boy.  What do you think,” Cheryl said as I answered the phone.  What do I think?  I think this is what we had talked about.  This is what we decided we were called for.  Are we ready?  What should I have done this last weekend to be better prepared?  How are we going to be able to pick them up?  “Yes, let me know what you hear,” is all I really mustered up.

So much to do at work, for work.  Let me type up an emergency set of plans… just in case.  Last time we had actually received a similar call and in the end the children had been placed with a different family so there is no need to alarm the people I work for just yet.  From what we have been told, many people who foster have at least one parent who stays home.  Twenty, thirty, forty minutes wade by.  ALL of the little task I thought were an emergency seemed to get done easily and with plenty of time to spare.  I went back to the other tasks of the day.

Ten minutes later the phone rang again… again Cheryl’s number popped up.  Cheryl conveyed that our foster agency had told her that the little boy would be coming to live us.  Also, Cheryl had talked with the CPS worker and she would be at our home at 1:30… thirty-five minutes away.  I quickly checked in with a co-worker who needed something and also talked with my supervisor to let her know I needed to leave.  Yes, twenty eight minutes to make it home; should be just enough time.

I spent the afternoon introducing our new addition to our home.  One experience that I had not thought through completely is the fact that when you are parenting you get to a point where you expect certain behaviors, certain reactions.  A new addition means a whole new set of rules about what to expect.  I think the coming weeks we will really spend that time understanding out new set of expectations.

In the afternoon we were able to set up daycare.  We came up with a game plan to get to the doctor’s (by the end of the week).  We are set and ready for a new host of experiences and challenges.  This weekend also we will have guests as Cheryl’s mom will come to visit as well as the two little ones who once called our house, home.  Thanks for reading.

The last we left off… Retrival Day

The last post written was as the procedure was happening.

As the last words were being typed our RE came out and asked Nick to come back to the prep room.  The doctor told Nick, “Cheryl is very bubbly and full of giggles”.

The full procedure lasted just over and hour.  It was the deepest, fullest sleep I have gotten in forever.  I remember waking up and bits and pieces of conversation, but nothing full memory until we were going to get in the car.  We drove home and Nick set me up with all that I could need and want and went back out to pick up the few things we had forgotten.  Not a lot of pain that first day, just some tenderness and a lot of sleep.

The next day Nick went to work and I was left home alone.  Lots of shows on TV and reading on my fertility sites about the transfer process.  I love my APA ladies and all of the support that they give me.

Nick called around 11 to ask if we had heard from the office.  NO not yet.  This was kinda strange because we both had thought that we would have heard something well before 24 hrs after transfer.  Texts and calls in finally got me to talk with the embryologist and he told me of the 15 retrieved, 6 were mature and we had 3 who have fertilized normally.  Nick’s swimmers were by the far the lowest numbers we have seen in this entire process.  How?  We did what the doctor said.  What in the world?

Devastation.

A bit later I had a chance to talk with my nurse and with my doctor.  My doctor also sounded shocked with how low our numbers were.  Nothing from what the scans had shown and the other lab should had said indicated that we would be where we are at.  My nurse told me that our big day for transfer is going to be Saturday at 9:30.  No 5 day transfer like the doctors had talked us up with.  Acupuncture will be 8:45 and then again at 11:00.

Later Nick got home.  We had already talked on the phone.  Here is the crazy part.  We had expected much larger numbers, but wait… we still have 3.  Those are 3 perfectly fertilized embryos.  Those are 3 perfect babies.  Even though we had expected one thing we have another.  That other is 3 developing babies who are waiting for transfer in just about a day from this post.

Please keep us in your thoughts as we go forward.  We are confident that these 3 miracles.

Top: front Door of the Dr. office.     Bottom: The happy couple