A Valentine Mix-Up

Cheryl and I are involved in a number of things in our community both professionally and within the community at large.  Much of the time we are able to be a part of these groups within the context of our day, while the kiddos are at day care or while one of us is able to be at home with them as the other is not.  When the community group involves both Cheryl and I we have two options 1)’ making sure it is family friendly and we all go 2) finding care takers to take the kiddos for the time.  When it is the second option it is not as easy as picking up the phone and asking this family member or that close friend because the care givers have to have a minimal amount “security clearance”.

One such event (with option two) is coming up this weekend, yes over Valentine ’s Day.   Knowing of our needs Cheryl and I asked our licensing agency to help us find respite care way back at the end of December.  We had all the kiddos scheduled to go to our usual home.  About a week and a half ago our licensing agency emailed us telling us that the family we had scheduled with were no longer available and we were out of luck.

What did that mean for Cheryl and I?  Scramble time.

With only about two weeks before a Friday evening, all day Saturday and most of the day Sunday what type of person could we ask?  That short of notice over a weekend when something special is going on we will have to ask someone to re-arrange their plans.  So to answer the question we could only ask people who we thought would be forgiving that we would ask on such short notice and would still be willing to help out.  We reached out to our Engaged Encounter group (the community group we will be involved in this weekend), however because of the specialness of the weekend all group members are in the same boat as we are, helping with the weekend.  After them we had a short list of people and finally found our saving couple Crystal and Scott Bott who, because of the job backgrounds, meet the “security clearance” and were wonderful enough to rearrange their time so we can be there for 30 engaged couples.

One large topic that I don’t think Cheryl or I talk about enough on here is the need for personal and community time.  As we have gone through our baby puzzle journey some times that need gets pushed to the back burners.  There is always another diaper to change, another sippy cup to fill, another boo-boo to kiss, another dirty front room to clean up, another load of laundry to put over, another sink full of used bottles to scrub, another banana to slice, but there is only one full time partner through it all.  For those of you on your own baby puzzle journeys (no matter where you are) take some time to remember that all parts of your relationships, your mommy roles, and daddy roles all need a little bit of nurture and care for.

And if I did not say it enough THANK YOU CRYSTAL AND SCOTT…

Thanks for reading.

Procedure

This afternoon I left work as normal. Drove the distance from my work to Cheryl’s work to pick up her car so I could pick up the kiddos from daycare. Then drove to daycare and home. There is an art to getting three children into the house all at once without having to many fussyness.

Dogs fed… and changed into comfy clothes. Little lady is not enjoying her swing. How about tummy time? No? Really? Wet diaper… no? Oh you just want to rock. Luckily the two boys love playing, I can accommodate a good rock. My phone gently buzzes as I rock, rock, rock. “I am leaving in two minutes,” Cheryl reports. Yes a new worker all ready on the case is coming tonight. A few more sentences and … “Cheryl I need to go.” The younger of the two boys is on the floor crying. Looks like he slipped off his push bike.

15 minutes until our appointment. I know… let get dinner started. Juice… yes works like a charm for those tears. The two boys are on a BRAT diet still. Toast started. Fruit slice, slice, slice. A little turkey (not part of the BRAT but the doctor told us to add it in). Everything on the plate and served. Let me make a bottle, just in case the youngest wants her dinner.

Cheryl walks in the front door a few minutes later. A few minutes after that… a knock at the door. A new to us worker comes in. He quickly breezes through the questioned form. Not the kiddos worker… a replacement worker for the time being. He leaves within 15 minutes of arriving. A few more minutes to finish dinner. Little lady starts to voice her need for her dinner. I finish quick. To the rocker with a full six ounces I go with the little girl.

As I set down and start to feed her I hear more crying. Unusual for the timing, but not for the kiddo. I continue to feed, Cheryl works on baths… the crying continues. Minutes tick by and what was a simple fall from a push bike looks to be a larger problem. Cheryl and I decide that he needs to go to the Urgent care. She goes I stay to get the other two down. Finish feeding and burping and rocking… the youngest goes to sleep. A few quick songs and the oldest’s eyes grow heavy. To bed.

I text Cheryl. Nothing. 45 minutes I try to call. No answer. What is wrong. What happened. Another thirty minutes I get a call with a diagnoses. The hardest part is the way Cheryl is treated. They interrogate her. Question her like she is an abuser. She was not even there when it happened. Moreover… the kiddos fall on a regular basis. We respond quickly once we realized there was something wrong. It is just “procedure”. That is what they tell her.

Time now for healing. Thanks for reading.

Another Quick Reflection

Yesterday in the AM we decided to go togethger to knock out the fews things we have remaining on our list of things to do.  First step???  Get a notary so we headed to the first place we could think of to get this done… yep you guessed it our insurance provider.  An added bonus to getting our criminal history page noterized was getting to cautch up with a friend from the past.  Always a great expereince getting to see those that we do not get to see nearly as much as we once did.  We are very greatful for the service that was provided and some wonderful conversation to go on top of it.

One retorical question … Why ask so very many specific questions?  Since we can both say “no I have not been charged, suspected of or convicted of a crime” why can’t there be a single box that we check to to skip the 5 pages of boxes to marked.  Oh well either way “check” done with that.

After that we sought out a doctor or someone who is qualified to fill out our health surveys.  The person at the foster agency said we could visit those “minute clinics” inside of our local drug store.  The one that was closest to our house did not have a clinic so they sent us down the road.  We went in and signed us both up on their automated computer system (which is supposed to be easier) to find out this local drug store no longer does this type of screening.  Ah new news to give the foster agency, do not send clients their way.  So…. we did not want to give up there which led us to find a third (non affiliated) small in grocery store clinic.  Instead of going into the clinic we called to make sure they did the screening — they do — but one more thing “your insurnce doess not cover the paperwork filling out so the visit will be out of pocket”.  This information led us to call our local doctor of 5 years ago who gave us an appointment for Friday morning with just a co-pay due.  The good news in the end is we will be able to get this checked off our list of things to do.  Now we know for other future foster care seekers that certain places do not provide services, others cannot charge insurances but sometimes one can find a places that will do it just right.

After I post this post this morning I plan on making photo copies of our marriage licence, drivers licenses, CPR certs, and pet vaccine records.  Tomorrow we start our foster care linsure classes

Retrival Day Photos

The last we left off… Retrival Day

The last post written was as the procedure was happening.

As the last words were being typed our RE came out and asked Nick to come back to the prep room.  The doctor told Nick, “Cheryl is very bubbly and full of giggles”.

The full procedure lasted just over and hour.  It was the deepest, fullest sleep I have gotten in forever.  I remember waking up and bits and pieces of conversation, but nothing full memory until we were going to get in the car.  We drove home and Nick set me up with all that I could need and want and went back out to pick up the few things we had forgotten.  Not a lot of pain that first day, just some tenderness and a lot of sleep.

The next day Nick went to work and I was left home alone.  Lots of shows on TV and reading on my fertility sites about the transfer process.  I love my APA ladies and all of the support that they give me.

Nick called around 11 to ask if we had heard from the office.  NO not yet.  This was kinda strange because we both had thought that we would have heard something well before 24 hrs after transfer.  Texts and calls in finally got me to talk with the embryologist and he told me of the 15 retrieved, 6 were mature and we had 3 who have fertilized normally.  Nick’s swimmers were by the far the lowest numbers we have seen in this entire process.  How?  We did what the doctor said.  What in the world?

Devastation.

A bit later I had a chance to talk with my nurse and with my doctor.  My doctor also sounded shocked with how low our numbers were.  Nothing from what the scans had shown and the other lab should had said indicated that we would be where we are at.  My nurse told me that our big day for transfer is going to be Saturday at 9:30.  No 5 day transfer like the doctors had talked us up with.  Acupuncture will be 8:45 and then again at 11:00.

Later Nick got home.  We had already talked on the phone.  Here is the crazy part.  We had expected much larger numbers, but wait… we still have 3.  Those are 3 perfectly fertilized embryos.  Those are 3 perfect babies.  Even though we had expected one thing we have another.  That other is 3 developing babies who are waiting for transfer in just about a day from this post.

Please keep us in your thoughts as we go forward.  We are confident that these 3 miracles.

Top: front Door of the Dr. office.     Bottom: The happy couple

Last scan before transfer